sunshine

Weeks ago I decided on my word for 2012 (a little new year's ritual I've done now for several years). The word I picked was action. As in, just do it.

Last year I chose intention and made good on several of the goals I wrote down. Still, I know there's a lot more I can do, and need to. Action seemed like a good word.

But today, I changed my mind.

Today we withdrew our seven year old from the public school and began teaching him at home, and everything brightened, especially my son.

Today I did yoga for the first time in months, the longest I've ever gone without practicing, and felt lighter and clearer than I have in, well, months.

Today I was reminded that I used to have a lovely nickname that I'd like to have again.

So, today I decided that sunshine would be my word for 2012.

I have no doubt that I will do a ton this year. I will get a full-time job to help get us out of our financial difficulties. I will write my first book. I will finally shred those old files cluttering up the bedroom.

But these things I want to act on, they are a "to do" list. I don't want to do. I want to live. I'm more interested in a "to be" list.

I want to be happier. I want to be kinder. I want to be lighter. I want to be the joy I saw in my son today and the contentment I felt doing yoga.

It want to shine, not act.

So, 2012, your word is sunshine. You are my year to be warm and bright and light and, with any luck, earn my nickname back.