I should be grateful. Every day, no matter what. I have a beautiful family. I know almost nothing of suffering and death. I live in a house. I have food on my table. For these facts alone, I am the 1%.
But some days, I am beleaguered by comparison. I am weighed down by worry. I long to be rescued. I struggle not to cry.
No matter who you are, how much money you have, how much you are loved, how much faith you have, life is difficult.
Today, for no great reason, other than a ridiculous tax bill and a deep longing to be home with my boys, I lived on the edge of tears all day.
But I remembered the words I took from the sermon yesterday: Fear nothing and go forth. And what a friend reminded me: Think of your gifts. I repeated these words to myself until life as something difficult transformed into life as something beautiful.
I chose to redeem the day by being thankful. In no particular order, these are just a few of the beautiful things I am grateful for:
:: Trees and bushes ripening in neon green and white and pink.
:: A warm coat and comfortable shoes for a long, chilly walk to the office.
:: An almost five year old who is passionate about exploring the world and bringing us with him, sometimes leading the charge with his hands in his pockets like he doesn’t have a care in the world. (And he doesn’t.)
:: Dear friends who e-mail, text and buy me Starbucks to remind me I’m not alone.
:: Two full back-to-back days of sunshine.
:: The magical world of ponds and creeks and forests.
:: A husband who does laundry, cleans up a lot of poop and finds me sexy and beautiful even when I feel old and tired.
:: Reading aloud to little ears.
:: An almost eight year old whose earnest imagination and longing to believe melts the heart of a mother who told him the Easter bunny wasn’t real.
2 comments:
You are not alone. You are not alone...many others walk this same pain with you, beside you. Your resolve to stay thankful is remarkable.
I sit down to work at my desk, and read this. Your pain and longings resonate with me as always. You're not alone, my friend, my fellow working mom. Thanks for the reminder to be grateful--it is the only path to joy. May his strength fill you and rescue you today!
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