out of the mouth of my 9 year old

All the recent funny conversations with Liam. Someday I'll be so glad I wrote them down. Hopefully he will, too.

::

Liam: I think I know the answer to this, but I just want to ask. Can we paint our house purple and green diagonal stripes?

::

Liam: It feels like it's getting to be winter. I just love winter. I love snuggling up with dad with salt and vinegar chips and dad has a beer and I have a Coke.

Me: When has that ever happened?

Liam: It hasn't. It's just my dream.

::

Liam: I wish nudisting wasn't against the law?

Me: Nudisting?

Liam: You know, walking around naked.

Me: Why do you wish that wasn't against the law.

Liam: Because then deciding on a Halloween costume would be so easy.

::

After explaining to Liam that a good friend of ours is an expert in Feng Shui, Liam wanted to know more about it. We explained that people hire experts like our friend Bill to rearrange furniture and select new paint colors in order to improve the energy in their homes.

Liam: They pay him?

Me: Yes.

Liam: How much?

Me: I don't know. Probably a couple hundred dollars.

Liam: (sighs) I can tell you what to do. Just paint everything bright colors. You don't even have to pay me.

::

Coming inside after playing with his best friend Ava, Liam complained that he scratched up his hands.

Me: What were you doing?

Liam: Hitting the broom.

Me: Why were you doing that?

Liam: Ava and I were pretending. I was holding the broom upside down and hitting the straw part like it was Ava.

Me: Why in the world would you pretend to hit Ava?

Liam: Because it's a lot better than pretending to kiss her.