reclaiming fun

I have a friend Jane who was once a professional dancer. Today she teaches people how to have fun. Jane practices Interplay, which is one of those things that is completely mystifying and intimidating when it's explained but makes perfect sense when it's experienced. Truthfully, I've resisted going to an Interplay class because it sounded kind of goofy and awkward. I'm pretty open, but I wasn't sure I could comfortably dance around in front of other people and enjoy it.

This weekend Jane led an Interplay workshop at our church's women's retreat and I finally decided to turn off my inner critic and try it. I cannot remember the last time I spent an hour feeling the same kind of genuine joy and freedom. At one point, my partner at the time was listening to me tell a story in a made-up language and we laughed so hard we were crying. I loved every minute of the experience. For one full hour I not only had fun. I was fun.

This was an ah-ha moment for me because "fun" is probably not a word my husband or my kids would use to describe me. I like to think I'm fun, but I day to day I don't really live that way. I wondered if Interplay could be my ticket back to a more joy-filled experience of everyday life, particularly in interacting with my kids. I was sure they would love it. I would try it.

This morning started off rough. Elliott woke up early. Liam was lethargic and coughing. I taught them some silly movements anyway. They caught right on with pretend tae chi, swinging and hand dancing. Giggling and smiling before breakfast. That's an accomplishment.

I didn't really think about it until late in the afternoon, but starting the day with play and silly fun set the tone - for me. When I was with the guys in the basement - them playing, me knitting - something moved me to bag the project and suggest we play games instead. When I was working on my computer and Liam was resting on his bed reading, dying to be done with "quiet time" (inflicted because he had stayed home from school), on a whim I closed the laptop to play Monopoly Junior. I colored. I let them jump on the bed, and off of it. I closed the shower curtain at bath time and let them splash until their hearts content. I don't know what got into me.

I am an excellent multi-tasker. I take great pride in my ability to do about 15 things at the same time. For the most part, even simultaneously, all things get done well. All things but my family. This weekend it occurred to me that when it comes to people I can't multi-task and expect anyone to have fun. Unless I give my full heart, body and soul to play, I can't be fun.

The best reward today was that my kids were angels. They were smiley and silly and not one bit whiny. Not at all. And tonight when Liam was jumping off the bed just one last time, he turned to me with a big grin and said, "Do you know what my high point is today?"

"What?" I said.

"Having a really fun family."

Well, hello. I guess joining in the dance, no matter how goofy or intimidating or inconvenient it might seem, makes a difference. It makes me fun. What a revelation.