the importance of saying yes

This is Liam ready for an afternoon on the town. After lunch we were getting ready to walk to the grocery store and ice cream shop and Liam decided he wanted to change his clothes. This was his reveal - t-shirt on top, t-shirt on bottom. Like any mom of a four-year-old boy, I said, "No, honey, please go put on shorts." But when I saw his total disappointment, I quickly changed my mind. Why not? Who cares? It makes him happy and he came up with a creative idea on his own. (I especially loved the sleeve pockets.) Plus, he has Scottish roots (although I did require underwear).


Last year I read an article on why it's important to say yes to a child. The gist was that parents tend to say no all the time and more than half of that time it's because it's inconvenient to the parent or isn't what everyone else's kid is doing. For example, your kid wants to play with playdough. It's a mess and a pain to clean up, so, no. But what message does that send your child? What kind of power does your "no" have when you really need to say it? Why not just say "yes"? I think about this a lot. And I try, really try, to say yes more than no.

So, today Liam went to town in his "skirt." In the ice cream shop, the owner referred to him as my "little girl" but Liam didn't notice. And who cares? He was sweet, cooperative and in a super good mood. And he went upstairs and changed back into his shorts as soon as we got home. When I asked him why it was so important that he wear that outfit to the store, he said he wanted his skirt to fly up when he did cartwheels on the way there. Of course. And that's why we say yes. Because what's really important to Liam I will never quite understand, but I love it. I just absolutely love it.